Bisexuals in brooklyn dating
Those U-Hauls are meant to carry sex toys and memorabilia, not bitterness, girls.Marla said she’s “felt the most discrimination from the gay community, particularly lesbians.It’s just easier and I don’t have to deal with anything emotionally messy. My heart is 100% gay.”Melanie and Marla, on the other hand, differentiate between energy rather than gender.Marla said she’s “drawn to masculine energy,” no matter what sort of body contains it. “All of the guys I date have the same type-cast—edgy Asian tattooed hipster artists—and I always go for the super butch gals.”Surprisingly, only the straight male mentions bisexuality’s cultural components.“For straight folks—me for example,” my friend said, “it’s just so much easier: I know I like vanilla and can appreciate that folks like chocolate, but I simply don’t, so I don’t miss not having it.”“Now I want ice cream,” I told him. Which is maybe sort of like being monogamous in that I have restrictions that stop me from sticking my head under a soft serve dispenser, even if I’m tempted.”Discussing bisexuality with gays and straights, men and women, one gets the uncomfortable feeling that here finally is a topic on which they can precisely agree: Bisexuality is icky.It’s ironic that a sexual identity which embraces attraction to both genders seems at times equally derided by those genders.After Ellen’s Anna Pulley (and my go-to bisexual) said, “Some view the word as limiting, or reinforcing the gender binary, but I’ve never really bought that argument.I like to use bisexual because there’s so much stigma around it, and I’m trying to fight that.”Chicago performer Marla Depew agreed.
There’s a superficiality to some prevailing concepts of bisexuality.I’m often seen as a traitor if I date men (and now I’m really seen as one since I’m married to a man).One particularly ignorant former acquaintance said to my face, “another one bites the dust” when she found out I was dating my now-husband.”Anna adds that “lesbians are the first to crack jokes and call you a ‘hasbian,’ but if they’re real friends, they’ll back off eventually.” Shelly, a massage therapist, has also gotten flack from the lesbian community.“Probably because they are the one group there’s no question about—I wouldn’t be having sex with them.”Arguably, the gay male acceptance Shelly mentions also stems from the fact that a woman expressing interest in both men and women proves no threat to a gay man, while a lesbian may find this fluidity personally betraying.“Every lesbian has some experience falling for a woman who chose a man over her,” said Kathleen, a biology teacher who identifies as lesbian. There are more straight women then lesbians, so it’s happened to all of us. There’s a way that you’re out there competing with men for this limited resource. Few people have satisfied me sexually, simply because they weren’t sufficiently in touch with the sexual side of themselves.”Amy also privileges the ephemeral over the physical.And when a woman flip-flops from women to men you wonder, is it because I couldn’t fuck her like a man can? “I’ve always been most attracted to intelligence,” she said.